Prospector Sam - Super League: College Football Edition

One of the funniest parts of the whole Super League debacle was that, despite being thousands of miles across the ocean, America still got blamed for it.

And, in fairness, it was kind of our fault. The owners of Arsenal, Liverpool, and United, all of whom played a significant roll in the project, are owned by American individuals/groups. On top of that, the Super League format (or, at least, what it would have been) is a heck of a lot like the formula used by American leagues. In American professional sports there is no relegation, no money to be made by qualifying for an international competition, and all revenue is pooled to the benefit of the teams who are franchises of the overall League. Basically, American owners never have an entrenched revenue stream and have little to fear in terms of long term consequences even if their team happens to suck. And, given that security, it may not be surprising that a few soccer owners tried to take that system across the pond for their own benefit

That’s not to say our system is necessarily bad. The European soccer structure is completely unique, and, I would argue, almost impossible to replicate. As much a I love the idea of creating a relegation system in baseball with the number of minor league organizations that exist, its just never gonna fucking happen. Know when to pick your battles.

But the Super League, and some fairly unintelligent individuals, got me thinking about what would happen if another group tried to band together the same way European soccer just did. As I mentioned previously, that’s not even possible in professional sports because they’re all franchises, so the fools comparing the Super League to a small number of NBA teams making some sort of smaller league don’t have a clue what they’re talking about. But college sports? Oh boy, is that something worth taking a dive into. 

For one, we’ve already seen that the landscape of college sports can change purely for money, which happened when the old Big East fell apart 15 years ago. Add into the equation that colleges, while they pretend to be bastions of higher learning and morality, are VERY willing to do whatever it takes to make more money (just look at tuition prices), and the idea of a group banding together to try to make extra cash isn’t all that crazy. 

So here begins a new attempt at conference realignment, this time with the goal of creating a Super League in college sports. Quite honestly, I’m caught in two minds on how to do it. One side of me wants to try to create one league based on a combination of all sports influences, while the other side thinks I should start by focusing on one sport. Despite the fact that it doesn’t make a ton of sense, I’m going with the one sport system. Trying to pull together the influence of every sport to decide on one league would be damn near impossible, and I need to give myself some boundaries to do this. Since football is the cash cow, we start there on this possibly longer journey of creating college Super Leagues (I may or may not continue with these, its hard for even me to predict where my scatter brain will go next).

I’ll start with a few ground rules. I’m making it a 14-team conference, which I chose by looking at the number of teams in the major conferences and finding the closest even number to their consistent size. I’ll be considering obvious things like money, prestige, and historical success, while also adding in other considerations like geographic diversity (and a curveball or two) as I see fit. Otherwise, this is just an interesting idea (at least in my mind) to take current events and apply them in a way that sounds fun. If that isn’t your cup of tea, well, nobody is forcing you to be here. With all that in mind, here is your official 14-School College Football Super League!

The Obvious Picks

Alabama: I really don’t need to say much about this one. Anyone who has ever watched college football knows that Alabama is the best of the best, and they put their money where their mouth is when it comes to the football program. The Super League begins with the Crimson Tide, and they might still dominate everyone regardless of who they play. 

Ohio State: Much to everyone’s disappointment, Ohio State continues to be one of the top programs in the country year in and year out. While I would rather not have to listen to anyone yell O-H-I-O again (good for you guys, you can spell a four letter word) or refer to themselves as THE Ohio State University like some posh British duke in the 16^th Century, I can’t deny that they certainly belong based on their consistent track record of results and recruiting. Begrudgingly, they make it in.

Oklahoma: Based on their recent success, Oklahoma is somehow both and obvious pick and a complete question mark. This team has been fairly dominant in the Big 12 over the last decade, but have also never managed to win a playoff game despite making 4 appearances. Clearly they’re pretty damn good, but also a step down at the moment from some of the other biggest programs. While that may be less than impressive, though, Oklahoma has been a consistent power in the college football landscape for 70 years, and that level of long term performance matters. There may be some newcomers who have hit a higher gear over the last 5 or 10 years, but this league isn’t based on recent performances alone. If nothing else, Oklahoma are a huge program who have proven to have the staying power to succeed long term. Hell, even their recent “struggles” have been only winning conference championships but no titles. This Program deserves to be one of the first on the list

Clemson: Clemson sits right on the line of being a “big program.” Their recent success is obviously a massive part of that, but Clemson was never all that amazing of a program until Dabo Swinney turned them into a powerhouse. That said, they’ve done just enough to show me that they are a top program in the country, and their recruiting power right now is strong enough to push them into the highest plateau of teams on a yearly basis. The other thing they have going for them, quite frankly, is that they are able to dominate the ACC because the rest of the conference is absolute shit. It plays in their favor, since it’s a lot easier to win consistently against the Boston Colleges of the world than it is against Ole Miss or Minnesota. Overall though, not a person in the country would exclude Clemson from this Super League, so they get the top tier nod.

The Best of the Rest

Georgia: Alright, the second group of teams that I’m including are the big boy programs that aren’t quite good enough to be considered “locks,” but would comfortably make it in. There’s not a ton of rhyme or reason to how I’m ordering this group, but Georgia feels like the perfect embodiment of what it represents. The Dawgs have always been a huge program, who come out near the top of the SEC every year and pull consistent top 10 recruiting classes. But, despite the fact that they always hover around the top of the rankings and the playoff discussion, they never quite manage to take that final step and win anything. Nothing represents that status better than their Championship loss to Alabama in 2017, where they blew a massive halftime lead and pissed away their best title chance since they earned that honor in 1980. As a friend of mine loves to say, Georgia is the perennial “Pre Season National Champion,” But never actually lives up to the hype. All that said, they’re clearly one of the top programs in the country and fit comfortably into the top 14, making them a safe selection here.

Notre Dame: Quite honestly, Notre Dame probably belongs in the “Obvious Pick” section. Not because they deserve to be there based on results, but because the history and massive fan base have continued to perpetuate the idea of their relevance despite not being all that good any more. Every Catholic in the country has latched on to the Irish as their team, and its paid off for them. And I mean literally “paid off,” because their TV deal with NBC is so big that there is a TV station in South Bend, Indiana just for them. Are Notre Dame actually a top 14 team in terms of quality? Its hard to say. They manage to pop up and make a playoff push every couple of years, especially with the benefit of an ACC-heavy schedule, but they get their brains beat in any time they end up in a meaningful game. That aside, Notre Dame Football is undoubtedly a big part of the college football fabric, and the revenue they would bring is enough reason to include them. And while they may get mocked for how badly they perform in big games, at least they’re still good enough to make it there. Maybe one day this program will actually get back to those glory days and become a real winner again. Considering recent attempts, though, they might need Jesus to pop out of that building behind the end zone for it to happen.

Florida: Since Urban Meyer left this program over a decade ago, things have never really been the same. Despite a run of dominance in the mid-2000s that included two national titles, the Gators have never made the playoffs and haven’t even won an SEC Title since 2008. But, while they may not be quite as good as their peak, they still continue to be relevant and competitive at the top level, even if they haven’t quite been able to overcome teams like Alabama and Georgia in recent years. I’ll forgive them for that, because its not exactly the easiest task. And, while they may not have the same level of fanfare that some of the other hardcore SEC programs have (in places where football is basically religion), they have a better track record of success than most of them. Florida is also a football hotbed, and this conference would undoubtedly be incomplete without a team from the sunshine state. While other programs like FSU and Miami have a claim, both have fallen off dramatically and haven’t entrenched themselves in college football relevance the way some other programs have. So between their consistent performance and their geographical value, the Gators are a comfortable pick.

The Teams that Inexplicably Continue to be Relevant

Michigan: Almost every one of these three teams is going to have the same story. Historical success, a massive following that holds a blind overconfidence that the program is going to make it back, and a continued commitment to letting down that fan base year in and year out. I almost wrote all three of them in one big chunk, but I decided it was more enjoyable to make fun of each individually. These days, Michigan is just the John Harbaugh clown show. It’s a testament to the fact that coaching in college football is actually two separate jobs, and you need to be able to do both well to succeed. Harbuagh is elite at one part, the recruiting, and continually brings in top classes every year. The problem is, for the actual football strategy part, he has failed miserably and Michigan continues to sputter without ever even threatening their cross-border rivals at Ohio State. But, despite their continuous failures, the Wolverines continue to be a big talking point every season, and people care a ton about how they do. They’ve also proven to be innovative, becoming the first football program to take on the Jumpman logo as their official sponsor. Is this team primed to win the CFB Super League? Absolutely not. But they wont be completely outclassed and every game will be a storyline.

Texas: Its been so long since Texas was legitimately good, sometimes I wonder if it was all a dream. And, somewhat ironically, their downfall is entirely self inflicted. Since the 2005 National Championship, maybe the best college football game of all time, Texas has slowly chipped away at itself with bad coaching decision after bad coaching decision, and their blindness to the fact that they aren’t as relevant as they used to be. If you asked a Texas fan, they would probably tell you that no program is more significant than the Longhorns and that they’re just a couple quick fixes away from being back at the top. But they’ve recruited poorly, made bad hires to lead the program (including their newest disaster waiting to happen, Sarkisian), and have underperformed in big moments on a consistent basis. That said, still relevant. They have a massive fan base and people still care A TON about how Texas football does. They also tick the geographical necessity box, because no CFP Super League would be complete without a team from the Lone Star State. I wouldn’t expect them to win anything, but they certainly should make the cut

USC: It took a lot to put aside my disdain for this program, and its inexplicable relevance, to include them in this list. As much as it baffles me that people continue to pretend that they’re important, that narrative still exists. Since USC took a massive hit following the Reggie Bush payment scandal, USC has looked like a shell of the program it was in the early 2000s. From 2002-2008 this team won 7 straight conference titles, two national championships, and lost a third in the aforementioned 2005 Title Game to Texas. Then, the program had a bunch of wins stripped for paying players, Pete Carroll high tailed it out of there to coach the Seahawks like the scumbag he is, and nothing has been the same since. The Trojans have one just ONE Pac 12 title since 2008 in a conference that is barely holding onto their “Power 5” status. But year in and year out, we still see pre season polls over-ranking them and TV networks fighting to stick them in primetime slots, because USC still has brand power. Why? I have no fucking clue. One of my favorite traditions for CFB, which has been a consistent success, is to fade USC in their first couple of games because they’re always given too much credit by the books before they inevitably tank. But hey, at least you’re still relevant USC. Being included here probably wont go well for you, but every league needs a couple of bottom feeders. Congrats on finding your place.

The “We’re Just Happy to Be Here” Teams

Oregon: Oregon is probably the most “new money” team on this whole list. They’ve been consistently solid over the last two decades, but continue to be dragged down by the fact that the Pac 12 is fading into irrelevance with each passing year. Add in the fact that they weren’t even all that important generally until Phil Knight put the weight of Nike behind the school, and its not hard to say that this team doesn’t have the longevity and success to belong. But, despite never having won a national title, the Ducks are perennially relevant in college football and the Oregon brand has skyrocketed due to that beneficial relationship with Nike. While convincing recruits to go to the middle of nowhere in Oregon might have been near impossible in the past, the money pumped into the school has made them a much bigger deal. Add in that they are really the only consistently successful team left in the Pac 12, and they have enough value to find their way into the league.

Auburn: This might have been one of the toughest picks for me. I waffled pretty heavily between LSU and Auburn being one of the last teams in, and, admittedly, LSU probably has a stronger overall case. They have 2 more national titles, 4 more SEC titles, and have more recent success. So what tips the scale in the favor of Auburn you ask? Well, as they say, its good to have friends in high places. And nobody in the college football world is higher than Auburn’s top rival, Alabama. These two play each other every year to finish off their regular season for the Iron Bowl, which is among the biggest rivalries in the sport. And I’m willing to bet that Alabama would be willing to throw a little bit of their clout behind keeping that rivalry in tact. This is starting to just get into the purely fun and speculative part of this whole process, but I might as well take some artistic freedom here to make things interesting. I’m not saying Auburn necessarily deserve to be here, but I think it’s a very plausible choice all things considered.

Wisconsin: This spot may have been the toughest one to pick. At #13 we’re starting to decide between a lot of programs who have a claim for why they should go in, and I could probably name 10 other schools who all have valid arguments to make about being more deserving than Wisconsin. So what tipped the scale? Well, unless you somehow believe Ohio counts as a Midwestern State, we’re missing a representative from a huge geographic chunk of the country. Wisconsin has a number of other things going for its program. They’re a consistent winner in the Big 10 and continuously win their division, they play a unique brand of hard-nosed football that most teams in the country no longer play, and they have one of the most historic programs in the country (having been formed in 1889). Sure, there are teams that have won more titles and had more recent success, but Wisconsin represents a region of the country that used to dominate the sport and continues to have a heavy influence in the college football landscape. They sneak their way in for that reason.

Stanford: Admittedly, I just wanted to throw a fucking curveball in for fun, so this is definitely a stretch and is basically asking for people to tell me I’m an idiot. But every major football conference (except the Big 12) in the country has one thing in common; a school that gets smashed around most of the time but is good for the conference because it’s a top-tier academic institution. Stanford, Vanderbilt, Northwestern, and Duke all qualify for that role in their respective conferences. So why not keep that going, and take the most influential of the bunch to slot in. Having Stanford on your side can go a long fucking way in getting things you want, and they’ve had at least some overall success with 3 Pac 12 Championships in the last decade and a couple of National Titles (1926 and 1940). Its also a selling point for recruits who want to be at the top level of football, but want to go to a top college as well. Stanford isn’t here to win any trophies, and that’s fine. Every race has a last place finisher, and that will usually be the Cardinal among this group. But their value comes in other forms, and, as previously stated, having friends in high places can be a good thing. 

The Pissed Off Programs

Every Other SEC Team: Time to start with everyone who is pissed off by this list. The first group ready to burn the thing down would undoubtedly be the rest of the SEC. For one, there would be a couple of teams who probably believe they deserve to be among the group. LSU and A&M come to mind as programs who would have a legitimate claim, though LSU probably has the strongest case. More importantly, the SEC is the closest thing to a Super League that exists in college football. The middle of the pack in the SEC would probably be near the top of any other conference, and no conference would suffer more from this set up (especially because it would lose 4 of its best programs). But the SEC has had it too good for too long anyway, and I’m sick of listening to how nothing compares to SEC football. We get it, guys, you have nothing else to fucking do in Mississippi so college football Saturdays are the peak social event. Maybe its time to focus a bit more on other things anyway.

Penn State: I’d say Penn State has the best claim overall for being butt hurt about being left out. Not only are they one of the top programs historically, but they continue to be relevant today. But actions have consequences, and nobody wants to bring a PR nightmare into the equation. I wont sit here and rehash everything that happened with Penn State and Joe Paterno and the terrible things that happened to those kids. But this program was built by a man who, it turns out, allegedly compromised all levels of morality for stability in his football program. Not a good look. Penn State has tried its best to atone and have made their way back, at least partially, after the program’s image took a massive hit. But its all just a bit too soon for them, and they’re probably a bit too dirty to be welcome. 

Michigan State: Michigan State’s absence from the Super League is a bit of a shame, if we’re being honest. They’ve won 6 National Championships (though none since 1966), and have won the Big 10 3 times in the last 11 years. But this program was fairly average for a long period of time between their last National Championship until 2010, and they fell flat on their face in the only recent chance for recognition (a 38-0 loss to Alabama in the 2015 CFP semis). Leaving them out is also, simply, the unfortunate product of being the second most significant team in Michigan. At the end of the day, its hard to justify bringing along three teams from the same region when the group has won 1 national championship in the last 20 years. The Spartans are the casualty, only because Michigan football continues to be more relevant for some inexplicable reason.

Florida State: If you had told me 5 years ago that Florida State would have started to fade into irrelevance in the college football landscape, I would have told you that you were crazy. But I’ll be damned if it hasn’t happened. Florida State was dominant under Bobby Bowden, and Jimbo Fischer continued that success with a National Championship in 2013. But the program started showing cracks soon after, and Fischer leaving for a “better job” at A&M put a huge stain on FSU’s credibility. Since then, they’ve made a couple of terrible coaching hires, and the program has dropped into a huge hole. Will it last? Probably not. FSU has too much brand recognition and I bet they climb their way up the ladder to relevance at some point soon (in the non-Super League format that still exists). But the ‘Noles have never had the same level of fan support or media craze that other programs have, and, while Bobby Bowden brought the program continued success, they never really became a dominant force in college football the way some other programs have. Had they won a couple more of those national title games in the 1990s I might be singing a different tune, but they never quite peaked enough to gain the level of admiration that programs like Texas or USC did. They probably have a legitimate gripe here, but there were always going to be a few upset parties

Oklahoma State: I’m not sure they have a really strong claim, but I’m sure that Cowboys fans would be bitching about this. They’re always relevant in the Big 12, but have never really managed to get over the hump into dominance and have won just a single conference title since 1976. So why am I even bothering to discuss them? Well, Mike Gundy is just too damn fun to listen to and I really wish I could include him. He and Mike Leach deserve a spot for themselves just for the amount of entertainment they bring. But, alas, Oklahoma State just isn’t good enough to be included. Sorry Mike.

UCF: This is just here to make fun of UCF for claiming they won a national title in 2017, despite no other soul in the country agreeing. Good for you guys, you went undefeated in the AAC and beat Auburn in a meaningless Peach Bowl. But National Champions? God, would I be embarrassed to see that posted on the stadium walls. UCF is worth mentioning here, only to remind UCF that they are irrelevant and always will be.

Nebraska: Just kidding. Nebraska football hasn’t been competitive since people thought Y2k was going to kill us all. Turns out, having to convince players go to Nebraska is a pretty tough hill to climb, and its probably more impressive that they were ever good to begin with.

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