Premier League Soccer Picks and Predictions for MatchWeek 26

Let’s talk about something other than the Premier League this week. Why, you ask? Is this deviation at all related to Tottenham’s 2-1 home loss to fucking Wolves because I’m not allowed to have nice things and life is pain? Of course not. Completely unrelated.

No, I think we need to do the right thing and be selfless this week by checking in on our old friend (and my one true love) Harry Kane. After nearly a decade giving up everything to try to bring hardware to Spurs, Harry left in the offseason to join Bayern so that he could rightfully win SOMETHING to show for his career. The only problem is, that isnt going so well. Bayern lost the first leg of their Round of 16 fixture to Lazio, and sit 8 points off the top of the Bundesliga despite having won that competition for nearly a decade straight. People with no heart or empathy are claiming that Tottenham have tainted the German giants, which is a very unfair and not at all true thing to say but also may or may not be a coincidence. Or maybe Thomas Tuchel is just an absolutely horrendous manager. I’m going to choose the latter.

So, if you go to church this weekend and want to pray for those in need, think of giving your prayers to Harry and maybe your Tottenham supporting friends. Because we all sure as hell (or heaven, whoever will help) need it.

MORE: Premier League Best Bets 

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Premier League Best Bets - Week 26

Brighton vs. Everton: Saturday February 24, 10 AM EST

I’m not gonna sugar coat this - the slate this weekend sucks. With the EFL Local Mayo Cup Final on Sunday there are a couple postponed matches and we’re left with Arsenal-Newcastle and then a bunch of weirdness. That said, I think we have a couple of strong Saturday value spots and I, for one, am looking forward to sitting in bed hungover and winning some money.

Here, we start with a cautious bet from me (but not from the BOT, but we’ll get there soon). Brighton have returned to their brand of chaos soccer after a weird spell in mid-january, and goals have been flowing at both ends in their recent matches. Will they be the ones to score? It seems more likely, but who the hell knows since this team has been all over the map this year (both literally in their European campaign and figuratively). I imagine Brighton could get us there themselves, but they also conceded 4 to Luton recently so I wont limit myself to one team.

The BOT, amid that chaos, sees value in the Everton ML at +310. Presumably to value comes from that potential variance and Everton’s growing desperation to pull themselves out of the relegation spots. At +310 I certainly understand the pull, and it may be worth sprinkling a little on that with a more heavy hand on the over.

⛏️ Sam’s Pick: Over 2.5 (-150) - 1.5U
🤖 Dimers' Model: Everton ML (+310)

⚽️ MORE: Brighton vs. Everton match prediction

Crystal Palace vs. Burnley: Saturday February 24, 10 AM EST

Now we get a little friskier. Roy Hodgson finally stepped down last week, and the question is whether Palace pick up a little post-managerial firing bump or if things just get worse. Their play against Everton on Monday didnt exactly inspire confidence, but extra time to adjust to a new system and clean up the mess under Hodgson should do them some good.

Oh, and they get to play one of the worst teams in the EPL which is also nice. Palace at +110, even at home, isnt necessarily a great bet in most situations. But facing Burnley (or Sheffield, who are even more terrible) plus money on the home team is worth the price of admission. In front of their own fans at Selhurst and facing a side who havent won a match in 2024, I’ll take Palace to find two.

The BOT, as its wont to do at least once a week, said fuck you Sam and took Burnley ML at +310. Maybe there’s value there? I’m not sure, and I’m trying to be nice here because its not very fun to piss on someone who cant fight back (or to piss on anyone really, why are you doing that). So I’ll just say to the readers “do what feels right” and go from there.

⛏️ Sam’s Pick: Palace TT Over 1.5 (+110)
🤖 Dimers' Model: Burnley ML (+310)

⚽️ MORE: Crystal Palace vs. Burnley match prediction

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