How to Survive Summer as a Sports Gambler

Well, folks, it’s that time of year again. The dreaded stretch of summer when every sport worth a damn is out of season (yes, I’m looking at you, baseball) and we’re left with nothing to fill our beloved TV screens. It’s during these desperate months of June and July that many of us reach our lowest and darkest places, lost without cause as we try to figure out how to make sense of day to day life without constant bets to keep our simple brains preoccupied.

But fear not! For I, Prospector Sam, am here to provide you with the guidance and knowledge you so desperately need. Sure, taking life advice from a cartoon might seem silly, but people listen to Gwenyth Paltrow religiously and that bitch is out of her goddamn mind.

So, with that, I present to you a list of ways you can survive the summer until the oasis of Soccer and Football saves us from this barren wasteland.

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Hodgepodge Sports Gambling

For some people, a break from gambling simply isnt an option. I’m not going to say that you have a problem if that’s the case, but I’m also not NOT going to say it…

If time of is simply a non-starter, you can look to a variety of other sports to keep the juices flowing. Scandinavian soccer runs through the summer, and you also have options like darts, racing, and a variety of very sad choices like ping pong and snooker. We also have a major summer soccer tournament in the Women’s World Cup, and I’d recommend getting into that as well (even just as a fan).

Is this the smartest option? Probably not, but obscure sports do tend to have some generous lines so who am I to say you shouldn't attempt to get rich betting Jai Alai for a couple of months? Turn a challenge into an opportunity.

RELATED: Best Bets for Today in All Sports

Sunshine?

Crazy, right, but maybe get off the couch and find a way to get that precious vitamin D into your body before the tundra returns and you’re left begging for mercy from the unwavering cold. I, for one, am a big fan of golf as a way to get that sunshine, but pick your poison as far as which option is best (just remember to use sunscreen).

Carry Out a Plot to Sabotage Your Greatest Enemy

I’m open and vocal about the fact that I hold grudges. I do not forget and I do not forgive. But during the normal year it’s just SO DAMN HARD to find the time to destroy those people who have wronged you.

Well, fear not, because you now have two whole months to design and carry out a plan to crush the soul (and possibly body) of one of those people. Need ideas? They’re endless. Shave their eyebrows, switch out their furniture with slightly different furniture every week to make them think they're going crazy, even… oh, wait, it’s just me who does shit like this? Nevermind, my bad.

Find a New Hobby

The world is your oyster! Woodworking? Improv? Theatrical ice dancing combined with juggling chainsaws? Take a crack at something new and, who knows, maybe you’ll find a new passion. If not, you can just drop it in 2 months and go back to regularly scheduled programming.

Call your Relatives

When’s the last time you called your grandmother? Yeah, that’s right, shame on you! I am also, admittedly, negligent in catching up with my family members who are now scattered all over the country, but now I (like you) have no damn excuse not to give at least one of them a call on Sunday. Just suck it up and do it.

Preemptive Maintenance

One of the few truths in life is that, no matter what happens, somebody will find things for you to do as soon as sports come on. The standard trope is the wife who has chores for you to do as soon as football starts on Sunday, but I wont stoop to generalities based on gender, especially since I have a wife who reads these articles (and may or may not do the same thing… Love you!).

But, if this tends to happen to you, scour the house for projects that could be done. And I dont just mean the basement that’s been begging for a clean up since 2018, I mean ANYTHING. Take away that option before someone has a chance to use it against you. It could be a crucial decision.

Go on a Spiritual Journey

Religion, drugs, rewatching all of Game of Thrones to remember what true emotion feels - you decide. Im generally not one to get too specific or deep into how people should to live their lives, but getting in touch with some deeper meaning or higher power might cleanse your soul… maybe that’s just the mushrooms talking though

Light Prep

It’s generally not a good idea to start digging into a season months in advance. Sure, you might be able to find some value in futures or build up a good framework for how you want to approach the season, but the phrase “more is less” jumps to mind when you’re talking about capping games that are two months away.

If desperation kicks in feel free to scratch the itch for a bit, but don't do it until you bleed.

RELAX

Seriously. Do it. Recharge your fucking batteries to the point that you are desperate to gamble and watch sports again. The season is a grind and that built up energy is going to pay massive dividends later in the year, so don't pass on an opportunity to get away from everything. Everyone needs a vacation, even sports gamblers.

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